On this Eve of New Year’s Eve, I’m feeling reflective and cozy, maybe a little nostalgic for Holidays of old. Everyone’s home, and we’ve got a little bit more time together; it’s hard to imagine there was a time in our family life when we were always together, when I had wished for a closed door in place of the beeping toys and crashing towers signaling time to choose a different activity. These days the doors are more often closed than open, a slow evolution that, though absolutely normal, seems a little like an ending.
Reflecting on these 18+ years of parenting three active, amazing, neurodivergent humans, I realize I’ve learned a thing or two about what really matters. And I’m here to tell you: less is more. This simple mantra will bring you peace, help you emotionally regulate, and set you up to be the person you want to be for your kids. So buckle up, because it’s about to get a little bit bossy in here.
Imagine parenting as a buffet table soooo long you can’t even see the dessert at the end. You start loading up your plate with enthusiasm, piling on activities, expectations, and responsibilities. But about halfway down the line, you realize your plate is full. What do you do?
Many of us try to squeeze more on, (been there!) precariously balancing that extra scoop of mashed potatoes (or in parenting terms, that extra extracurricular activity). We worry about missing out, about not giving our kids every possible opportunity. But here’s the truth: you – and they – won’t enjoy it anyway.
My bossy advice that you didn’t ask for? Leave the line. Go sit down and enjoy every morsel of the food you already have on your plate. Take your time. Savor the flavors. Let the food (or experiences) truly nourish you and your family.
Think about it: when you’re at a real buffet, stuffing in the food, stressing between wasting food and tasting it all, then throwing half of it away without really enjoying any of it – is that satisfying? Of course not! It’s the same with parenting. Trying to do it all, be it all, and provide it all for your kids often leads to stress, burnout, and a sense that you’re not doing anything particularly well.
Instead, focus on less – choose it wisely – and truly enjoy it. Here’s how this “less is more” approach can transform your parenting:
- Quality over quantity: When you’re not spread thin, you can give your full attention to the activities and moments you do choose. Your kids don’t need a packed schedule; they need your presence.
- Emotional regulation: Over-scheduling and overcommitting lead to stress and emotional dysregulation – for both you and your kids. The rushing, the low margin for unexpected events, it wears away at mental and physical bandwidth. By doing less, you create space for calm and connection.
- Modeling balance: Your kids are watching. When you prioritize and set boundaries, you’re teaching them some of the most valuable life skills.
- Flexibility: With a lighter plate, you have room to adapt when unexpected challenges arise (and with neurodivergent kids, they will).
- Joy in the journey: When you’re not rushing from one thing to the next, you can actually enjoy the parenting experience. And gratitude changes everything.
Remember, if you still have room after enjoying what’s on your plate, you can always go back for a second pass. But start with less, savor it fully, and see how it transforms your family life.
Parenting, especially parenting neurodivergent kids, is a marathon, not a sprint. You don’t need to cram everything into every day or every year. There’s time. There’s space. Give yourself and your kids the gift of “less but better.”
Feeling like you’re a little late to the party? You’re not alone, and there’s always time to clear space for what matters most. Cheers to that!
So, here’s your bossy parenting advice for the day: Put down that overloaded plate. Walk away from the buffet line. Sit down, take a deep breath, and truly enjoy the nourishing experiences you’ve already chosen. Your kids – and your sanity – will thank you.
Yours in the journey, and thanks for letting me get bossy,
Cara
